Overheard: My husband and his mother on the phone

Hello Mum.
Yeah?
Do you have cloves?
Of course I have clothes!
Cloves!
Clothes?
CLOVES!
CLOTHES!
C for Charlie, L for Lima, O for October...
Oh, Cloves!
Yes, do you have cloves?
Yes, why?
Can I have some?
Ok.
Erm, do you have muslin bag as well?
Muslim bag?
MUSLIN!
MUSLIM?
Jesus!
Ah, muslin.
Yes. Goodness! I'm coming up.

Highchair

And so we got the highchair from Germany, yehey!
The box is held in place with a sliver of packing tape. Couldn't they just have doubled it to make sure?
The box wasn't in a good condition, to say the least.
And then there were no screws. NO SCREWS. How in heaven's name could we put the highchair up without screws?
So we emailed them pronto. Please send us the screws.
They replied two bloody days after. Please could you confirm there were no screws?
We emailed back. We can confirm there are no screws.

We're still waiting. For an email to say they're sending the screws. And for the screws.

Your German is very deep, I cannot swim!

'Why did you have to buy a highchair from Germany when the only German I know is Lidl? Why not from Boots or somewhere in England'? I said to my husband a couple of days ago. He just murmured something about wooden self-assembly and surely there would be an English translation of the instruction that goes with it!

This morning I got this email. I read it to my husband in the best way I could, Filipino way:

Sehr geehrter Kunde,

Ihr Paket mit folgender Paketscheinnummer(n) ist heute versendet worden:(numbers)

Mit dem nachfolgenden Link können Sie Ihr Paket(e) im Internet verfolgen:

Is there somebody out there who could translate this for me? I only understand the word 'Internet', obviously.