To eat or not to eat

I started doing aerobics at my local gym not because of my post-natal weight but because of these incidents:

1. Last Sunday, K took me and the kids shopping for clothes to wear during Lewis' baptism in a few weeks time. I tried on a white halter-neck dress and asked K for his opinion. "Do I look fat in this?" His answer: "You look fat in everything, darling."

2. So I tried a lovely black and white wrap dress. This time I asked Zak's opinion. "What do you think of mummy in this dress?" "You're not a grandma yet, mummy."

3. We passed by a charity shop and decided to browse in. The shopkeepers crowded around the pram to coo on Lewis while Zak was fending off their questions. K meanwhile wandered around the shop and ended up inspecting their videos. He then pulled two and displayed them, presumably for me to see and asked in a rather loud voice, but not before everybody in the shop turned their heads to look at the videos. "Which one do you like?"

One was a 1988 (yes, that old!) Exercise Video of Lizzie Webb, the other, a 1995 Flat Stomach Plan of Rosemary Conley.

50p each.

Now, if this happened to a British woman, she would have been offended. But not me. I found this so hilarious. So as soon as K paid for the videos, the shopkeeper said, "If I was her, I'd divorce you."