Wednesday, 25 May 2005

"A Short History..."

I'm still reading Bill Bryson's A short history of nearly everything. I'm still in the Alchemy chapter and I must say that it's easier to learn Chemistry and understand that periodic table through this book than sitting through a 3-hour lecture three times a week which is counterproductive i must say because an empty head like mine doesn't function like a brand-new sponge from Savers.

I don't reread lines and i don't reread books but i like Bill Bryson's writings anyway (yes I read them all) and it's nice to know that you can learn a bit of chemistry (history of it, basically) with a bit of a smile.

And not be stressed by a sexy lecturer who licks sodium nitrate.

Sunday, 22 May 2005

It makes me sad

To read about people's experiences in the comfort of my home is like reading a non-fiction book: it is not so much as to be entertained but to learn from the writer's way of dealing with simple things in life.

But reading and learning that two of my favourite bloggers' relationships have ended really, really make me sad.

Sunday, 15 May 2005

I lost my phone

Damn, I left it in the train on my way to Nottingham.

Monday, 9 May 2005

The worries of parenting

Sixth day into the potting training business and I have to say the 7-day programme didn't work. Perhaps Zak is too young or just too stubborn to run to the potty to do a wee-wee. I must say though that he poohs in the potty although I have to watch the signs of him that he's about to do it. In a way, he's learned to sit in the potty for over 30 minutes without complaint (but with loads of stories and games).

This morning, he wanted to sit on it with daddy only. But daddy is away! Despite what the book advised, I gave up and put on him a nappy before we went to K's parents for dinner. Honestly I'm not really bothered if he still uses nappies. He's 2 and a half and wees every hour! Weeing in his pants from time to time is not just 'accident' to me, it's total irritation. I know because I always go to the toilet myself because I drink liters of water everyday. And even to me, if only It's not unhealthy to refrain myself from going to the toilet when the need arises, I would only go when i'm really really bursting. How much more with Zak? He loves his books and his cars and i'm sure there are times that he doesn't want to be disturbed even by his own bladder.

But I can't just give up. I'm sure K won't mind if I do but somehow, his parents' praises about how Zak is doing well with the potty unnerve me. I have told them several times this week that I haven't heard of the concept of potty training a 2-year-old in Surigao and that children there just ask for it when they want to. They appeared to be understanding but K's mum would always say that well, we don't want Zak to be different from other children. It would be better if he's potty trained when he goes to nursery so he won't be picked on. I mean, are there already 2-year-old bullies here?

This is something like an unspoken and undeclared pressure on my part. Added to this is because Zak sleeps in our bedroom. We attached his bed to ours because I just can't bear the thought of him sleeping alone in his room. When he was a baby, my parents-in-law bought a cot for him and because I was breastfeeding him, he would just end up sleeping in our bed--which was really frowned upon by my mum-in-law. Although she's very nice and encouraging about it, I just couldn't let my baby sleep in his own room!

After nine months in my womb, i just can't bear the thought of him being away from my sight and touch for long. And why should I be in a hurry to detach myself from him? My idea of parenting is different from western parents but it doesn't mean that I'm raising a dependent child. Making a child sleep on his own outside the parent's bedroom at a very early age or having him potty trained before he's 3 doesn't make him independent and disciplined. To me, it affects the child psychologically in a way that he learns from an early age that this world is lonely and loveless and that his parents are only there when he has nightmares and not when he wants the all-night comfort of a cuddle. It's like if mummy can't sleep without daddy's cuddle, how can he sleep comfortably without mummy's reassuring presence? A cuddly teddy bear cannot substitute a parent's presence.

I am just glad that K understand me in all this and as i keep on telling him, if we want to do things together as family during the day, why not sleep together as family in the night now that he's still a child? When he grows up, he would want a life of his own, his privacy, and choose his own comforts. Why not make most of this nurturing years of his life and spend it with him and reassure him that every second of the day, whatever mood he's in, we are there for him and that we do things together because we're a family.

Wednesday, 4 May 2005

Potty Training in One Week

As today is the third day of Zak's potty training, I thought it is a good idea for me to relax and have a browse. Not that i spent too much time cleaning the floor or reminding him where the potty is. No, it's way too far from that. I spent the whole time worrying and counting the hours when he's going to wee again. And why shouldn't i have a 'me' time? After all, I spent the whole morning with him in the toilet reading a gazillion of stories and playing a gazillion of games while making sure that the potty is within his eye-view. 'Where's zak's potty?' 'There!' 'Clever boy!' 'Don't forget to use the potty when you need to wee-wee! Mummy will give zak a sticker! And mummy will give zak a treat after 3 stickers!' And then...nothing happens.

I'm not fed up but i'm bored. But really i just have to stick to this. One week off work just for potty training--that's what I call obsessive parenting. The Potty Training in One Week: One-stop guide to successful potty training by Gina Ford is giving me a headache now. Last night I even dreamed of its paragraphs of advice running infront of me, mocking me. The worst thing is when I leave zak to K (yes, he's also off work for 4 days!) for a few minutes, everything seems to be easy! I don't hear them arguing or cajoling each other about when to use the potty. Zak just runs straight to it to do a pooh-pooh and wee-wee, and then yey, stickers! Not so much effort for K! Why is it difficult with me?
The banner of the book says Making parenting easier. How i wish.

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