Wednesday, 18 January 2006

My husband blogs once a year

And this is his 2005 entry:

Waking up at 8.30am Sunday morning, lolling about the bed like a dislocated dog with 3 legs, I engaged the world by receiving a clout on the chops by my active 3-year-old Zak. Obviously he didn't mean to cause such an outburst from his father's gob. That is probably something one comes to appreciate with having kids. I often get an unexpected poke in the back with some plastic apparatus posing as a toy. These 'toys' probably use more batteries than a whore's vibrator. Whatever happened to the good old pull string toy or wind up toy? Needless to say all this talk of saving energy hasn't reached the manufacturers of toys or their buddies, the battery makers. Or even the governments that tell us all to save energy but don't restrict the people who make batteries? Anyway enough high horse for today. Back to the topic at hand.

Besides the odd poke in the back or wallop on the legs, nothing can come as more of a devastating blow to ones manhood, than a devastating blow to ones manhood. Frequently Zak doesn't want to get out of the car seat when we arrive home. He prefers to stay there and protest. He enjoys the car so why should he leave? Indeed. But when necessity dictates that it is in his best interest to be taken into the house he struggles and thrashes out anywhere. This is when one can get a well-aimed and guided boot in the nuts. Full on. Doubled up in agony I am holding a writhing brat whilst trying to fumble for my keys which have nearly always fell down the hole in my pocket into the dark inners of the coat lining. The kicking continues whilst I acknowledge the neighbours, trying to grin a smile of sorts. Eventually the door is opened and Zak takes off into the house like a tornado whilst I lie on the floor and wait for the pain to subside, thinking of all things bright and beautiful.

Next year, the truth about washing powder....


Chas Ravndal said...

which part in surigao ? my mom hails from Bislig!

soy said...

does she? i'm from surigao city.

racky said...

howdy Soy?

malapit na palang lumabas ang baby.
sana girl :)
baka sipagin mag-blog ang hubby mo later ^^kahit photo blog^^ lang sana.
soweee, ngayon lang nakapasyal uli.
nandito pala si chas, hello suesse! hehe

schönes wochenende (happy weekend)!

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