Sunday, 22 October 2006

Preaching Organic Lifestyle

When you start feeding your children with organic food, you then think, why not make some other things in the house organic as well? From dishwashing liquid to fabric conditioner to carpet shampoo, even window cleaners! It sounds very expensive but then why not?

And so one day, I went to an organic shop. Ugh! The price of the items seemed to jump onto me, taunting, how could you afford me? So I settled for the more practical baby liquid soap. I thought, well, this will be waaaay much better than their usual bath liquids. Surely, there won’t be sodium laurate sulphate, the foaming agent that send worried mothers to internet chat boards.

And then I got home, read the ingredients and instruction, and I panicked.

Dilute: Enjoy 1 soap for 18 different uses! Vegetarian super mild castile
soap has outstanding water softening and cleansing powers. Preferable to
harsh soap and deffatenning synthetics. It does not cut dirt, but dissolves
it. It is the mildest, most pleasant soap you have ever used or money
back! Enjoy body rub to stimulate body-mind-soul-spirit and teach the
essene moral ABC uniting all free in the shepherd astronomer Israel’s greatest


And how do you use soap in 18 different ways?

What’s the shepherd and astronomer doing in the soap?

And then there’s more.

99. Thos. Paine: An Army of Principles can penetrate where any army of
soldiers cannot! It will succeed where diplomacy may fail! It will always
inspire-unite the Human race where any other weapon divides-distorts-decays
“ALL-ONE-GOD-FAITH” inspired by the sign of the Messiah, Halley’s Comet, the
Blazing Star of Abraham-Israel-Bethlehem and Mohammed!

Hang on. What’s all these got to do with baby soap? When I bathe my baby, I don’t preach to him the wonders of Halley’s Comet or how Christ died on the cross because of our sins? I simply rub his snot off his face, shampoo the sticky porridge off his hair and hands, and make sure that his nappy area doesn’t smell of bodily fluid!

And oh, there’s some more. Shakespeare! I’m not sure it’s a passage from Hamlet but it’s too long to write here. The WHOLE bottle is filled with writings it’s like reading Genesis. It took me ages to find the Ingredients.

And there’s one more line I can’t resist, right at the top of the bottle:
Absolute cleanliness is Godliness! Teach the Moral ABC that unites all
mankind free, instantly 6 billion strong & we’re All-One: “Listen
Children Eternal Father Eternally…”

Listen. I respect any religion. But if it’s propaganda in an expensive bottle of baby soap that has nothing to do with being organic, then I’m lost. I'd rather bathe my baby with Johnson’s liquid. And I don't care if it has sodium laurate sulphate!


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