Sunday, 10 August 2008

Weddings

Summer being the wedding season, I am always dragged by my husband to ceremonies and receptions. Yesterday was another of those weddings where you see stressed brides wearing the wrong hairstyle, unable to breath because of the corsets being too tight. When you go to these events twice a week of your summer holiday, you don't anymore feel the buzz. Instead, you become impatient at bridesmaids constantly disappearing to have a fag, groomsmen unable to restrain gulping bottles of champagne, and children stiff and incapable of smiling because they're either too hot in their clothes or their shoes don't fit at all.

It is always complicated when it is time for formal portraits. The bride's and groom's parents are either separated, divorced, have different partners, don't talk to one another, don't want to be seen together, ignore each other, or don't want to be photographed together. If you're the professional photographer, you have to know this beforehand or risk upsetting/making everybody uncomfortable and stiff in the photos.

There is one thing that annoys me about brides. It's their dress! When a bride walks, she always picks up her dress, like it's some heavy artillery. She never lets her dress carry her; she carries it like she's outside of it. During the reception, she acts like she's still trying her dress on, while she's surrounded by 100 men and women measuring how it fits her overly-tanned body. She's not herself. She's being plastered by heavy make-up like she's on a circus show. How would a groom know it's her?

The groom, if not shaking like a leaf, behaves like a corpse. You won't know if he understands what you're saying; he just grins like a dead hyena. His head is usually off his body and his hands are contanstly rearranging his tie, as if that's what kills him in the first place.

There is always an overweight bridesmaid in every wedding. It's fine, as long as the dress doesn't pretend to be smaller than what she really is. I always worry because their breasts could pop out, you know, and how would a bride feels if her groom is resurrected just by looking at those heavy-weights?!

And the guests! I think they should practise wearing high heels at home before going to the reception. Their hats should fit their heads, their dresses should fit well, and they should remember that it's the bride and groom's day, not theirs. Even if you're the mother of the bride, you shouldn't wear a barbie pink if the motiff is purple.

12 comments:

SHIELA said...

kataw anan man ka soy oi...bantayan jud tanan ba :) ikaw daw adto og kasal 2x a week...hehehe.

how about the food diay? ok ra?

Soy said...

Hi Shiela, dili na man ko mag huna-huna sa pagkaon uy. Bitaw no. Sa sunod na pod kay naa na poy kasal karong sabado. hehehe.

denden said...

i hope i don't end up like the brides you describe. hehehe. :)

caryn said...

hahaha! it seems you're getting fed up with all the wedding you've been to ;-)

i'm glad i wasn't bridezilla 4 years ago. at least i think i wasn't. hahaha!

HiPnCooLMoMMa said...

ay! unsa man na! dili diay ka ga-shoot? mag shoot ka para di ka ma-bore. mag assistant ba sa imong bana. haha teka di ko na mapanindigan visaya. teka try ko pa din ^_^.

uptight diay kaayo inyong brides and grooms dinha. maayo nalang dinhi fun ang mga couples namo, pero naa sad mga ingon ana, pero gamay ra.

lami lagi o fun mag shoot, try mo. ako pagmag-shoot naka high heels pud, pero napractice na nako, hehe.

uy of course naman ganahan gyud ko ma-meet ka someday noh, in two years ba? excited na lagi ko all of a sudden.

Soy said...

Denden, no you won't. as long as you don't pick your dress up all the time, you'll be fine. hehe :)

Caryn, yes I do really get fed up, but I have to assist my husband! :)

Girlie, I haven't had fun reading a Cebuano writing until I read your comment above! Hilarious! I just do reportage style and K does all the formal and detailed shots. Mao lagi, ma bored na ko kay stiff ug uptight sila until after hours ug sigi inom, mao pa sila mag loosen up! Hay sus, kalisud pud ani mag bisaya uy. Dili ni mao ang akong dialect mao nga lisud pud gamay para nako. hahaha!

Uy, I can't wait to meet you in 2 years time. I'll be tagging along my kids, so wait till you get barraged by hundreds of questions! hehehe!

HiPnCooLMoMMa said...

err sorry, when i read Shiela's comment I thought you were Cebuano, so i tried very hard to comment in cebuano, although i'm quite fluent when i speak it, but it's kinda difficult when it's written, why kaya? lol

kelangan ko ba mag practice ng accent nyo? baka di nila ako maintindihan eh, i fancy your accent pa naman, harhar

texas_sweetie said...

well,that's what brides normally do.what's the use of having bridesmaid if they will not pick up the bride's gown? hahaha

nice posting..enjoyed reading it. anyways,thanks for reading my blog posts too..

Soy said...

Girlie, my Surigaonon dialect is worse. It's not a wrtten language so it's very difficult to write because of the varying stresses in every syllable.

As to my kids, they will be able to understand you but they might wonder why you have american accent. :)

Texas_sweetie, so true, and bridesmaids should always attend to their bride and not the drinks in the bar! :) I wish I had your flawless tan. :)

betchai said...

hi soy, another great post filled with humor. did not know you shoot in wedding, wow, that must be a very challenging task, but you and your hubby i believe are doing very well on it, otherwise, you won't sound like being fed up with the brides and grooms :).

Francesca said...

i like this post soy. DETAILED baga.
AND ALL TRUE!!!

ang dami talaga sa wedding na, showing Off too much, ang mga jewels, mas marami pa kesa sa bride...

or pancake na ang makeup.
ewan. Yoko lang maging hard, hehe.

What for?

Soy said...

Betchai, hello there. The wedding photography business here is competitive but we get by. It's a good sideline and you can express your creativity a lot. Unfortunately, I'm not yet good at it, so I hope that in time, I could manage to get my own shoot. Yes, I get bored with it, but that's how it is in weddings, especially if you're not related to the bride or groom. :)

Francesca, i can just imagine the 'pancake make-up', hehe. Siguro dark ang room nila kaya hindi klaro kung kapal na yong make-up o hindi pa. hahah!

 
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