Saturday, 12 April 2008

Sing Me Your Song Again, Daddy

I stumbled upon this video when I searched for Filipino artists on Youtube. It's a heartwarming song and I couldn't help but shed a tear when I listened and sang along with it. My kids who were eating wondered why I became emotional.
I didn't want to tell them that you know what, you're so lucky; your parents love you to bits. That's all they know. And anyway, at this stage in their lives, they don't need to know how I wanted to have this song sang during my wedding but couldn't because the father who walked down the aisle with me wasn't the daddy I spent the first 18 years of my life with. He was my father alright, but he wasn't the one who carried me on his shoulders when I couldn't manage to cross the slippy muddy path. He wasn't the one who kissed my grazed knees better. He wasn't the one who tucked me in bed and kissed me good night. He wasn't the one who waited outside the gate after my first day in school. He was my father but never a father to me when I was growing up.

And yet, I missed him.

He was there when I first fell in love. He was there on my 18th birthday. He was there on my graduation day. He was there when I was about to marry the man who is my husband now. He was there to quiz K how suitable he would be to be my husband. He was there first when I gave birth to my first-born, and when K and I signed the birth certificate barely 12 hours after Zak was born, he declared, 'You are parents now.' The irony of that statement didn't escape me but I appreciated his concern for his longed-for 'western' grandson.
My father died barely a year after I left him to settle here in England. I never said goodbye to him because I thought I would see him again. When I left in his house the last bits of stuff from my house, I didn't say goodbye. I couldn't bear to look in his eyes because deep in my heart, I knew that he was sad. We didn't have a chance to sit down and talk why things happened the way they did. We just accepted them. He suffered a stroke and that was one reason why I didn't want to discuss it with him.
I never said anything to my sisters and brothers about how I feel about Papa. But I hope that as they read this, and as they listen to this song, they'll understand that I am thankful, because in the last years of Papa's life, he tried to be a father to me.
And for that, I loved him, and longed for the songs that he never got the chance to sing to me.


12 comments:

COC-o-LIVE said...

Very touching video. I cried too!hehhe. Anyway, at least you still got the chance to experience being with your papa... You've got memories to cherish. Me??? The robbers took the life of my father since I was 2.

What matters now is that we produced breeds filled with love from both parents,ryt? They are really lucky!

Anonymous said...

Wow, soy. The power of words was all around me...wrapping and shaking me.

I hope I'd get the chance to sing this song to you in person. I hope I'd be the one person in your life like your Papa who never got real as a father to you for 18 years but made you truly grateful. I just hope I'd be true to you.

Soy said...

* L/coc-o-live, yes, our kids are indeed lucky. Thanks for dropping by.

* A,you've already sang me the songs without you knowing it! 'Majesty!!!!' Thanks for the love and friendship!

Analyse said...

hugs to you. your post really touched my heart.

Soy said...

analyse, thanks! i think i was just too melodramatic that time! :)

HiPnCooLMoMMa said...

touch ako sa post na ito...i remember my dad too =(

Soy said...

The photos in the video are very touching as well. I kept on looking at them several times!

Francesca said...

ah well, those were the days when daddy was still the favorite, as I used to say.

The good thing is: Daddy brought us all the best he could, and we will pass it on to our kids to.

This is true, one touchy song for daddy from his girl.

Soy said...

korek ka jan! :)

Shiela said...

buti pa kayo...it makes me cry because i did not experienced to be loved by my daddy.and i hate him for that.

Soy said...

Oh Shiela! It must be so hard for you! I hope one day I can read about it from your blog and know what it must be like.

Shiela said...

when i have enoug time soy...kabalo ba ka kung i maala ala ni akong life story basin naa part 1 and part 2.

btw, thanks for the comment that you left in my site. and also i have a tag for you...the 20 questions.

 
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